All the recent tragedies in the news about suicides from bullying and harrassment has me concerned. I have seen some nasty bullying in comments over the years on various blogs in DeafRead. It is the biggest reason I won't yet let my daughter participate on this blog. I just can't trust the commenters to behave themselves around a 12 year old girl. The anonymity of the blogesphere seems to breed comtempt. But it is not just here. As noted above, people seem to be getting more callous and hard-hearted everywhere. Somewhere during the "Me" generation, parents forgot to teach their kids compassion for others. The things they can get away with online seem to have blurred the lines with face-to-face interactions as well. People simply seem to no longer care about the feelings of others. It seems that as long as they can justify their behavior to themselves, anything goes. If a teen takes her own life, and the bullys that made her life hell can justify laughing at her during her own funeral, there is something seriously wrong with how those kids were raised.
There is really only one solution to the problem, and it starts with the parents. We must, absolutely MUST start teaching our kids respect and tolerance for others. In. All. Situations.
If we are to teach this, we must first live this. Online, and in real life, we must learn how to respect one another even if we disagree with their opinion. Every human being deserves to be safe, in body and soul. There is no justification for putting somebody else down because you disagree with something they have done, or believe, or how they live. Tolerance for others must become a priority in our lives. Religious, cultural, sexual orientation, physical differences, and for the D/deaf community - choices in D/deaf lifestyle. I don't care how you feel about someone's implant. They have a right to have or not have one, and parents have the right to choose this for their kids. An implant or the lack of one, does not make the person. We all have the responsibility to respect each other and not put them down or bully them because of their or their parent's choices. If kids in a deaf school are teasing another kid because s/he has an implant, it is probably because they learned at home that it was ok to get down on someone with an implant. If you as a parent have allowed that attitude, and your kid has become a bully because of it, you have some serious mirror work to do. Can any of us look at ourselves in the mirror without shame if we have allowed intolerance to fester in ourselves or our kids?
The only thing we cannot tolerate is intolerance. Please talk to your kids. Please look at the message you are sending them with your own words and actions. Please teach the difference between having an opinion different from someone else's and disrespecting them because of it. You never know when it will save a life.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Does It Have To Be Either/Or?
If there is one thing that confuses me about Deaf Culture, it is the seemingly insurmountable wall between ASL Deaf and oral deaf. I know absolutely that there are people out there who happily live in both spaces. They sign, they talk, they live their lives. But there also seems to be this attitude that proclaims "If you were oral and are part of the ASL Deaf Culture, then being oral deaf must have failed for you." People seem to question the success of implants if they see a Deaf person with a CI who is signing and an active member of the Deaf Community. Is there no room for someone who wants a Deaf Identity, who also enjoys the use of their implant?
My daughter is developing her Deaf Identity. She knows she is deaf, and would not change that. She likes being around other D/deaf people. She doesn't care if they are CI recipients, have hearing aids, or if they are ASL Deaf. She feels comfortable being around other D/deaf people. I would not change that for anything. I think it is important for her to have a good self image, and feel good about who she is. But she also loves her implants. She used to cry if we tried to take them off for naps or at bed time. She has an extensive CD collection, and loves music. She talks naturally and easily to her hearing friends. She even talks in her sleep.
I would not be surprised if she chooses to go to Gally for college. If her dream is to become an interpreter, that would be the best choice for her. I see in her, the ability to accept all types of deafness in other people, without judgement or prejudice. But I cannot say the same thing in return. If you see a deaf person with a CI using ASL, do you think "Their choice, their life, fine with me." or do you think "The CI must not work if they have to sign."
Some Deaf have said that they would welcome CI deaf into the Deaf Community if they respect and use ASL, even if they continue to use their implants. But the moment they show up, the response seems to be, "See, they need ASL. The implant must not work because here they are." I see it differently. I see that the Deaf Community is doing something right if CI deaf feel comfortable enough to want to participate in the Deaf Community even if they can easily speak and hear with their implants. What do you think? Please keep the comments respectful, or I will use my delete option. This is a moderated site.
My daughter is developing her Deaf Identity. She knows she is deaf, and would not change that. She likes being around other D/deaf people. She doesn't care if they are CI recipients, have hearing aids, or if they are ASL Deaf. She feels comfortable being around other D/deaf people. I would not change that for anything. I think it is important for her to have a good self image, and feel good about who she is. But she also loves her implants. She used to cry if we tried to take them off for naps or at bed time. She has an extensive CD collection, and loves music. She talks naturally and easily to her hearing friends. She even talks in her sleep.
I would not be surprised if she chooses to go to Gally for college. If her dream is to become an interpreter, that would be the best choice for her. I see in her, the ability to accept all types of deafness in other people, without judgement or prejudice. But I cannot say the same thing in return. If you see a deaf person with a CI using ASL, do you think "Their choice, their life, fine with me." or do you think "The CI must not work if they have to sign."
Some Deaf have said that they would welcome CI deaf into the Deaf Community if they respect and use ASL, even if they continue to use their implants. But the moment they show up, the response seems to be, "See, they need ASL. The implant must not work because here they are." I see it differently. I see that the Deaf Community is doing something right if CI deaf feel comfortable enough to want to participate in the Deaf Community even if they can easily speak and hear with their implants. What do you think? Please keep the comments respectful, or I will use my delete option. This is a moderated site.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Audiogram
I have said before that my daughter has made amazing use of her implants. She has especially good use with her left one, which she has had since she was 12 months old. She had a booth test the other day, along with testing in noise. I don't have the noise test report back yet, but here is her audiogram. CL is her left cochlear implant hearing, and CR is her right cochlear implant hearing.
Monday, July 19, 2010
This Week - Church Camp
My on-the-go kid got back from deaf camp, spent a long weekend with us at a family get-together, spent half of the next week with her grandparents, and is now off to church camp.
She has been a busy girl, but that is what summer is for. She loves deaf camp, but she also loves church camp. There are no other deaf kids at church camp that I know of. She will spend the next week with other jr. high kids from across the region. Hearing kids. And she will be fine. She will not have communication issues, just as she did not have communication issues at deaf camp. She is bilingual. That was our goal. Is she totally fluent in ASL? Not yet. But her skills are good enough to allow her to be independent within the Deaf Community. And she will continue to improve, because she wants to, and we want her to. We will continue to provide her with opportunities to improve her ASL skills. But she is also able to be independent in the hearing world. Is her hearing as good as the other kids at camp? No. Will it ever be? Probably not. But it also does not pose a major road block. She can speak and hear well enough for us to comfortably send her to a hearing church camp without an interpreter or any other communication aids. She jumps right in and starts chattering with the other kids at the table. Time for mom and dad to go. She has already moved on from goodbye without a backward glance. Just like she did at deaf camp.
This is what we wanted for her. The ability to choose her own path, and to be able to navigate that path with ease. Have fun at camp kiddo.
She has been a busy girl, but that is what summer is for. She loves deaf camp, but she also loves church camp. There are no other deaf kids at church camp that I know of. She will spend the next week with other jr. high kids from across the region. Hearing kids. And she will be fine. She will not have communication issues, just as she did not have communication issues at deaf camp. She is bilingual. That was our goal. Is she totally fluent in ASL? Not yet. But her skills are good enough to allow her to be independent within the Deaf Community. And she will continue to improve, because she wants to, and we want her to. We will continue to provide her with opportunities to improve her ASL skills. But she is also able to be independent in the hearing world. Is her hearing as good as the other kids at camp? No. Will it ever be? Probably not. But it also does not pose a major road block. She can speak and hear well enough for us to comfortably send her to a hearing church camp without an interpreter or any other communication aids. She jumps right in and starts chattering with the other kids at the table. Time for mom and dad to go. She has already moved on from goodbye without a backward glance. Just like she did at deaf camp.
This is what we wanted for her. The ability to choose her own path, and to be able to navigate that path with ease. Have fun at camp kiddo.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Will She Win the Chatty Kathy Award This Year?
We took our 12 year old daughter to camp yesterday. Such an insecure child (not). She was barely aware of us as we drove off, just managing to wave goodbye, before she was off to visit old friends and make new ones. Her counselors this year are totally ASL, with no voice. She didn't seem to have any concerns, and dove right in with her signing. It does not matter whether she uses her voice or her hands, she is a talker. Every child gets an "award" certificate at the end of the week. I can't remember what she got last year, but the year before, she got the Chatty Kathy award. I am positive that she earned it. The girl can chatter. We have to regularly remind her that half of a conversation is listening to the other person. "Oh yeah!" I am very hopeful this year that she will not only improve her ASL skills, but that she will spend more time letting the other person get a word in edgewise. Hey, a mom can dream can't she?
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Creating Divisions
Friday, June 4, 2010
Speaking of Camps...
If you are in or around Oregon, there is a wonderful kids Deaf Camp called Camp Taloali. Here is the link: http://www.taloali.us/
They use primarily ASL, but are capable of handling both SEE sign and kids who are primarily verbal with implants. They also allow siblings and friends if room is available.
My daughter has gone there for the past two years, and she loves it. She has really been working on her ASL skills this year, so we will see how much she has improved since last summer.
They use primarily ASL, but are capable of handling both SEE sign and kids who are primarily verbal with implants. They also allow siblings and friends if room is available.
My daughter has gone there for the past two years, and she loves it. She has really been working on her ASL skills this year, so we will see how much she has improved since last summer.
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